Dr. Frankie is a top matchmaker in the lesbian community. She is an insider in the lesbian community and understands the challenges in meeting quality, emotionally and physically healthy women who are interested in a serious and committed relationship.
Matchmaking by Dr. Frankie provides an advantage over traditional means of dating. Dr. Frankie will broaden your social circle and remove the guesswork, legwork and awkwardness from first dates. Matchmaking clients will be introduced to women who are serious about finding Ms. Right and creating a serious, committed and fulfilling relationship. Dr. Frankie also writes a dating and relationship column in Curve magazine.
MO: How did you discover that you had a special talent for matchmaking?
Dr. Frankie: I’ve been really blessed with a keen sense of intuition and emotional intelligence. From a very young age I remember being happiest when I was in the company of my close friends and family. Even before I knew that matchmaking was an actual profession for some people, I was always trying to set up my friends with each other. When I was 13 years old I even introduced my single dad to my single, Jewish, beautiful optometrist and they’ve been happily married for 20 years now! I remember I kept telling him how much I thought he would like her. I intuitively equated happiness with companionship and that is one of many powerful forces that drew me to this field.
MO: When looking at women and trying to decide who they would be best with, what do you look for, is there an extensive interview process? What is the actual process like?
Dr. Frankie: Although the introductions I make are intuitively driven, my actual screening process is very methodical and detailed oriented. I work really closely with my clients so I have a genuine understanding of what makes them tick, what they’re looking for in a mate, and what their deal breakers are. I also have to read between the lines because most of my clients want to meet someone “well educated, emotionally intelligent, successful, and attractive”, but that simply isn’t enough information for me to capture the essence of a woman who will be a great introduction.
When I begin working with a new client we typically have a 90-minute consultation where we go over a multi-page questionnaire. Then I put on my head-hunting cap and I go find introductions for my client. I often start with my online database that has profiles submitted by women from all over the country. I also attend fund-raisers, parties, professional networking mixers and host my own events including speed dating in order to make great introductions for my clients. I scour social media sites and put my feelers out because many of the best catches are often not in “the scene”. Regardless of how I track down the introductions for my clients, I always connect with them on a personal level-usually in person during a 60-90 minute consultation.
If I believe it will be a good introduction I ask my client if she would be interested in meeting the woman. I maintain my client’s confidentiality at all times and do my best to maintain the confidentiality of the prospective introduction. If my client agrees then I pass along each other’s contact information. One area that sets me apart from other matchmakers is that I provide basic coaching to my clients along the way to ensure they are always putting their best foot forward!
MO: You mention that you plan to extend your services to homosexual men in the near future. How do you think your success with matching women will transfer to your new market of matchmaking?
Dr. Frankie: I don’t have immediate plans to work with gay men at this point but hope to sometime in the future open my matchmaking services to them once again. At this time, my plate is full with lesbian matchmaking. However, a very talented colleague of mine, Soniyah Singh of Finding Bliss, is holding down that corner of the market, focusing solely on matching gay men in the San Francisco Bay Area.
MO: You are more than simply a matchmaker because you coach people already in relationships. What is one major relationship flaw that you see frequently?
Dr. Frankie: I offer relationship coaching to my matchmaking clients or anyone interested in strengthening their relationship. One common mistake I see repeated is people having unrealistic expectations of their partner and of the relationship. What then often happens is that people don’t give the relationship enough of a chance and end up jumping ship prematurely. This grass-is-greener phenomenon can be a result of feeling bored and complacent in the current relationship, or idealizing other people’s relationships. We live in a disposable society. We lease $50,000 cars for 24 months and turn them in for something newer, we wait in line overnight to get our hands on the latest Iphone when ours is only a year old. We are conditioned to wanting and getting faster, newer and sexier things. This unfortunately can translate into our relationships. When the honeymoon is over and the bumps in the road become a little bumpier, people often run for the hills when they really should be buckling down. People often don’t see that even by finding the newest, hottest girlfriend, you just end up bringing all your baggage with you and repeating past failures. My advice is two fold first, don’t jump in so quickly, and second; when things get rough don’t jump ship until you’ve given your relationship the effort and respect it deserves.
MO: Can you tell us about one of the success stories of a couple you introduced?
Dr. Frankie: When I first launched Little Gay Book I had a very intellectual client in the medical field who was extremely introverted but also wanted to meet another intellectual introvert. I racked my brain, because the type of introvert I knew she would click with would not be found easily. I searched high and low until eventually I connected her with a woman who was also looking for someone with the same qualities. I provided a bit of coaching along the way and whaddya know, they’re completely in love and in a stable, healthy, monogamous relationship now! These are women who because of their introverted tendencies and different social circles, would have never met. And they certainly would never have had the courage to initiate a conversation with one another, but now look how far they have come. They are both such incredible people who just needed a little luck and a little guidance. I am so proud of them both.
MO: What is the most rewarding part of being a matchmaker?
Dr. Frankie: I experience such profound and intense joy when I connect two wonderful people that would never have met had it not been for my service. For all the grumblings about the six degrees of separation in our community, there are so many incredible women flying just under the radar. It’s my job to find them and make a connection. It’s truly a privilege to work with these women and a humbling experience to know I was able to improve the lives of women in the LGBT community.
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